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Sofa Thoughts (February 24, 2005)

Posted on 2005.07.05 at 08:21
I truly hate being sick. I hate the coughing that makes my chest ache and the sleepless nights that follow. I hate the lack of energy to do anything. However, I have done a lot of thinking. These are the thoughts that have passed through my mind.

1. I love teaching, but I dislike having to prove myself as competent every year. I dislike having more and more requirements put on me and fewer and fewer supports given to me. I feel like this country is TRYING to have its teachers and consequently students fail. I strongly feel I do not want to be a part of this.

2. I also love to write. I have decided to take some of my work and try to get it published. I will also focus some on current works and see where they lead me. The worst that comes out of it is they say no.

3. I am not ready to die. The thought that my life may be cut short scares me. Not the death itself, but the fact that I would leave this world no better than I found it, leaving something incomplete that I came here to accomplish.

4. I am going to see about my closest friend moving in with me. We will see how much a bigger place is, but I am simply sick of living alone. I enjoy the privacy and the solitude, but I am tired of doing everything myself. It would be different if I had a relationship, but I do not and I will not start one just to be with someone. What I am missing is friendship; someone to go to the store with, someone to help you fix things, someone to talk to late at night when you can't sleep, and most importantly someone who would wonder where you are if they don't see you for a couple days.

*sigh* So yeah, that's how my week has been. Hope everyone else's has gone better. I'm off to lie on the sofa...again...

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