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Posted on 2011.12.21 at 17:18
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I am not sure why I feel so excited. It's like I'm anticipating something wonderful that is going to happen soon yet I know of nothing so wonderful that is happening. I'm actually rather bored but not bored enough to clean...that will likely happen tomorrow.

I still keep thinking about meeting someone. Like there isn't a doubt it will happen and it will be the right person, but I have no reason to think that. In fact I have every reason to think the contrary. Maybe it is just the figuring out that I am ready for it to happen.

I want a family. I want a son. I'm not ready to give up on that and I'm not sure why I feel this way given the fact that it doesn't look like it's going to happen. Maybe my body is in denial?

Maybe I will clean some today...

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