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Health Update

Posted on 2011.10.15 at 23:20
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I saw the allergist. He told me blisters are not an allergic response but an autoimmune one. He believes they were the result of an underlying systemic autoimmune disorder that has not yet been diagnosed. Because there are so many however, I have to wait for further symptoms to get appropriate testing.

I'm not entirely convinced he is correct as I've always had bad reactions to bugs and these were exactly like mosquito bites up until they blistered. I have a history or being the exception in medicine and I have trouble accepting it is autoimmune when I have not other major evidence pointing that way; if they hadn't blistered I would have written them off as mosquito bites. It only occurred on exposed skin, I felt something on me and then felt the bug bite immediately afterwards, and I had the same thing happen in July except they did not blister and the conditions were ripe for mosquitoes.

That said however, it is difficult for me to completely dismiss his comments--especially in light of the past few years. I've had difficulty with getting sick all the time and staying sick, especially with bronchitis and sinus problems. I frequently get headaches and migraines. My OBGYN suspects endometriosis which is still not under control and causing a lot of pain and bowel issues. I am almost always exhausted to the point I will just sit and stare and then realize 30 minutes has passed, yet no amount of sleep seems to help. I have had a few bouts of unexplained itchiness, once so severe I went to the doctor and was given a steroid. I have had some strange rashes off and on; on looked like pitiarisis rosea except only appeared when my skin was heated and another was a dark almost purple rash across my cheeks that only lasted a few hours. I also have some difficult with dysphasia, which is extremely frustrating while teaching, but my neurologist believes it is part of a migraine aura. I also already do have severe allergies to medicine, like my father, and likely have an allergy to bee stings like him as well. I had a breast tumor a few years ago that was benign, but then later lactated from that breast and not the other.

I keep trying to convince myself the allergist is wrong, but it's hard to dismiss everything when I put it together. Which makes having to just wait and see all the more upsetting. Moreover I can't find anything quite like what I've experienced online leading me to feel all the more a medical anomaly. The allergist did say he could be wrong and if it was an allergic reaction somehow, he doubted I would ever have it again. But if it was autoimmune I would definitely have more symptoms in time. He was very nice and didn't charge me, even refunded my copay which is unheard of, but he said "I can't help you." I will go to a dermatologist if the blisters happen again to get a biopsy. However, it doesn't help me feel better at the moment.

Just the though that it could be something like an autoimmune disorder is upsetting. I know many are not life-threatening but I can't even determine if I have one or not at this point; I just have to wait until something else goes wrong. Meanwhile I'm so tired I can barely stay awake while teaching and have to focus on what I am saying just to speak coherently, and half the time feel it comes out semi-slurred anyway. I had chalked all this up to stress and it probably still is. And the headaches. But still, now I have this little voice inside going "but it could be something more..." It's just upsetting to know there may be something wrong with you and know all you can do is wait to find out if it's something serious. I'm also not looking forward to becoming a guinea pig again....I went through that for migraines, endometriosis, and the breast issues already. I'm trying not to be worried or stressed, but especially since I'm already stressed with my evaluation, typical issues with my position, getting my kids on track with our new pacing guide, and trying to avoid work drama...it's really difficult to not think about it at all.

Today I went to a friend's because I was just simply upset and knew if I just went home I was going to cry. I hate being like this. And I hate this situation.

Edit: And the fact that I can't post this to facebook pisses me off. If they would just stop changing all the features that work facebook would actually be a decent program...

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