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True Change

Posted on 2011.03.20 at 17:17
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So not ready to go back to school. And yet I suppose I am. The way things ended before break left me very hopeful despite the nightmare of work still ahead. It's amazing how one person can change how you feel so much, but then I suppose I knew that too. It makes the difficult decisions easier and you wake up looking forward to the challenge rather than loathing it.

However, the most rewarding thing about any of the changes is that none were made for someone else; I changed because I wanted to change. I'm not a person who seeks recognition to begin with...I'd much prefer to be behind the scenes, but it does sometimes get frustrating when all you receive is criticism. The thing about change though is once you start, it goes much deeper than you realize and sometimes it surprises you. Especially when you react to a situation without thinking. It's not a bad thing if the change has been good, but it still surprises you.

Like the other day when I refused to argue with a member of the guild and all I could think despite how angry I was was how no one had believed in him. Yes I would have thought that, but before this year it would have taken me longer to reach that point--it would not have been my initial thought. I was able to put the symptoms aside and see the real issue and because of that I didn't get dragged into a battle with him. Before I would have argued before I realized it. I think that's a good change.

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