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wish-TB

Being Who You Are... (August 11, 2004)

Posted on 2005.07.05 at 08:09
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Ok, so after a conversation with a friend of mine, I've decided to post my thoughts in general on the topic. Each person has a beautiful soul. Each person is also different. However, some people try to hide their differences, especially when relationships become involved. This usually happens after a person has be hurt in a relationship, which makes sense. No one enjoys being hurt and it is not something you can easily, if ever, really forget. However, walling yourself in only makes you feel more alone and isolated, more different.

When you have shown someone who you really are, and they have responded negatively, you tend not to want to show yourself again. When this happens repeatedly, we learn to not show ourselves at all. We find some half truth and hide behind it. For some, it may be dedication to a job...for others it may be sarcasm or taking everything lightly. Regardless, it is some aspect of your personality that is true, but you do not show any other dimension. My question is this...



You've been hurt before, and so you don't want to show someone else who you really are because you're afraid they'll respond negatively. However, if you do not ever show who you really are...how can you trust that they truly like you? How can you trust that you truly like them?

Also, remember that happiness is not something that is given to you. It is something you create and it comes from within. No one else is going to "complete" you except you. This doesn't mean you spend the rest of your life alone and are giddy about it. It's natural to want a companion and you will search and find one that fits. However, if you are not happy before chances are you will not be happy later. If you are looking for others to make you happy, be it in romantic or only friends relationships, you will find that your self worth goes on a roller coaster feuled by the emotions of those people.

Why should your self worth be determined by someone else? They are not living your life and they are not the ones who know each thought, emotion and motivation that occurs within you. Would your risk the well being of your dog or cat or any pet into the lives of someone you may not really know? That is what you are risking...your well being, your self esteem and ultimately your chance for happiness. If you define yourself by what others think, what happens to the person you really are? What will you believe you can do with your future? How can you let go of fear and other negativity when your entire emotional stability is based upon the unknown thoughts another person might think?

You are in control of your future and your happiness. You are in control of who you are and who you want to be. If you are not honest with yourself, how can you be honest with someone else? If you are scared of who you are or ashamed or whatever, why would anyone else think differently? You can be whoever you want to be, you simply have to make the decision to do so and do it. The only limit is the one you put on yourself. Love yourself, find your self worth within rather than without. Be happy with who you are and let go of the pain and the fear inside of you. Why hold on to something that only makes life more difficult and causes pain?

If you say the answer to that is because it is familiar and something you were used to, let me say this. I used to never eat breakfast and often would skip lunch as I was busy and trying to loose weight anyway. However, I became sick with hypoglycemia (low blood sugar) and the doctors told me I needed to eat at least three small meals a day to even out my blood sugar levels. I did not wish to change my habits because I was used to them. However, my body was unhealthy because of it. It took a long while before I learned to handle this, and sometimes I still do have difficulty, but I finally gave in and changed. I am much happier and healthier now than I was then. If I had continued to ignore my discomfort for the sake of familiarity, the condition only would have worsened. Such is with anything in life. Change is not something to be feared, but something to embrace. Just by that simple action of embracing change...you release your old self with all your old emotions, thoughts, and habits and become free to grow. When this happens, you will discover who you truly are and just how beautiful your spirit and the world around you are.

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