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Kanda-annoyed

Summer is in Sight

Posted on 2011.05.26 at 21:16
Current Music: A Haunting
Tags: , , ,
It's amazing how exhausted stress can make a person. I feel so drained I just crash when I lay down. The only times I'm really coherent is when I'm teaching or working on curriculum. I have an unnatural fondness of curriculum writing. I would really like to finish my masters work in it, but that requires money. The amount of stress has just been overwhelming the past month...all I can think about is trying to head off the next disaster by seeing all the potential issues before they arise and trying to solve them. With only a few people I trust enough to bounce solutions off of, I think I'm stressing them out--which isn't what I want.

It's just so frustrating and I haven't been able to get away from it since this really started getting bad ten years ago...and it won't ever get better. It takes it toll on a person, especially when you can't talk about it.

On the other hand, I have found I absolutely love curriculum development and writing. I want to learn more and do more with it. I just went through today and glanced over what we have written for inconsistencies, missing skills, format issues, etc. Four pages later I realized it had actually lifted my mood to work on it. I want to get into more specifics with it, start to really get into the philosophy behind it as well as the application of it. I want to draw it all in together and format it into a clear workable document that can evolve as the district grows.

I've decided with a lot of my issues at work that keep resurfacing that I will find solutions myself for the most part and my students will do at least as well as other groups or better despite the extra obstacles. I just need the summer to get away from complaints, bickering, and new issues coming up for a while; I need to relax a bit and sleep.

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