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wish-TB

Rose Colored Glasses

Posted on 2005.08.16 at 22:02
Current Music: All the Love in the World ~NIN
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Is it wrong to want to leave the family you had as a child? Anyone who knows me has some idea of my past...is it wrong to want to put that behind me and walk away? Will it help, is it what is best or is it just an excuse to desert those depending upon me? Isn't it funny that no matter how mature life forces us to become we struggle to hold onto that most human part of ourselves, our childhood. I can no longer hide behind the innocence of youth, but I fight to hold onto those rose-colored glasses that see the world as a wonderful, beautiful place full of possibility and hope. I don't even feel connected to my family anymore...it's as if they are just people I have known for a while. Except my brother, but he is busy with his life which is as it should be. It's like the shell of myself has died and the real me has reawoke. A fire is growing in my heart and I feel trapped to stay here. And I'm so very tired. Don't get me wrong, I love life and have no intention of leaving before my time, but my soul is ready for peace. Everday this world appears more and more angry and I wait for the ocean to rise up and crash down upon us, renewing the earth once again...

Comments:


ex_rong at 2005-08-17 11:46 (UTC) (Link)
I know how you feel. And as years go by, it gets harder and harder to hold on to those rose-tinted glasses. Sometimes Im so scared that I might forget my childhood, the only time I think I experienced pure happiness. So very afraid..
akiko_kalla
akiko_kalla at 2005-08-18 03:12 (UTC) (Link)
I guess we just keep moving forward and as long as we don't give up humanity still holds the love and magic that we held to as a child.
ex_rong at 2005-08-18 03:48 (UTC) (Link)
Well said. The love and the magic. Sometimes I wonder whether my childhood was all but an illusion...
akiko_kalla
akiko_kalla at 2005-08-18 04:00 (UTC) (Link)
Hehe, well, I wonder if life is an illusion so... But there is something about life that makes me feel inside it's not. I just can't quite put my finger on what.
ex_rong at 2005-08-18 04:54 (UTC) (Link)
Sounds like something what Aru will say eh? =)
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